If Frankl is right, and a key way to find meaning is through relationship with others, then the cultivation and maintenance of your network becomes a critical skill.
Most of your 10 year visions included some aspect of relationship building. And when you created your vision plans, you identified relationships that you need to develop in order to achieve them.
While it’s possible to build and nurture relationships without a system, it’s far more likely you’ll be successful with it by getting it into a system you trust. I believe the effort invested in building a relationship management system is worth it.
Again, the tool doesn’t matter. I use Dex. One of the best networkers I’ve ever met uses a spreadsheet. All that matters is you like it and you consistently use it.
One of my goals is to have as many “funeral worthy” relationships as possible. I believe that’s a function of either:
I have a couple of approaches I use here:
My VIPs are the most important people in my life (outside of my family). I spend a disproportionate amount of time with them.
My 5 are the people who have an acute need or are going through a hard time. I move people into my five throughout the year, and I resolve to try and show up for them as best I can. This could mean they’re looking for a job, or they are starting a business, or they are going through a health issue, or whatever.
Advisors are like your support structure, allowing you to do accomplish what you want to accomplish with your life. Examples include:
When you made your vision plans, you likely identified some relationships you need to build that you don’t currently have. Ask yourself which of these you already have, which you need to have, and what you can layer in in what order based on your financial situation.
I keep track of a larger group of friends, business contacts, etc. The frequency is less often, but still relatively frequent.
In order to do this, it helps to have something to say. I do this in a couple of ways.
One great thing about the Personal Operating System is that they compound on each other.
Because I consolidate my notes on certain topics into “Unified Theory of X” pages, I can then share those pages with others when the have questions about them.
With task management, many of my projects have support material stored in Notion. When projects ended, I used to just check off all the boxes and close the project. But I realized there was a good chance that other people would pursue similar projects at some point. So things like travel itineraries, estate planning processes, etc. I keep in an archived projects section. Then when others have a project I’ve already done I can just send them my archived project as another way to add value.
I read once that there are only two things that break us out of the monotony of existence, that create opportunities for deep meaning and connection. The first is joy, the second is pain.
A lot of wisdom is needed in terms of how one shows up here, especially in periods of pain. But these are the interactions that create connection and bond you to others.
Ask yourself, “Who can I join in their joy?” Who can you buy a meal, raise a toast, write a note, or recognize this week?
Also ask, “Who can I join in their tears?” Who could use some comfort, some solidarity, some sitting beside in silence?
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